(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
-Sylvia Plath, Mad Girl’s Love Song
I woke up to the smell of coffee and thought it must be Saturday because Mama allowed me to sleep long. Saturday, I repeat to myself. I feel so elated to have memorized the multiplication table in just one sitting without Mama getting angry at me. Last week she taught me how to write dikit-dikit. I cried and cried and cried because I don’t want my writing slanting to the left. It just looks awful. “This is not writing,” I tell her, “this is drawing!” So she made me write and write and write until I can’t move my fingers anymore.
I stretch on the bed and yawn. I open my eyes and realize that I’m in a different room. Oh no, where am I? I go out of the room and try to recognize the other parts of the house. It’s so dark, and the place is so messy. There’s a table to my left with piles of empty containers and used plates on top. There’s a couch to my right full of unfolded clothes. The TV’s on to National Geographic. I can’t understand it. Something about triangles and dead people wrapped in what seems to be bathroom tissue. I try to figure out where the kitchen is. I see the fridge. There’s a note: Erika, coffee’s ready. Love, A. Who’s A? Erika? Everybody calls me Erik. I open the fridge and see bottles of beer. I want water. And hot Ovaltine. Where is my Grimace cup? I can’t find it! This is not my house! I panic and run out, the owner A might think I’m a thief.
I walk and walk and walk barefoot. When I realize I’m a few streets away from our house, I run. I run as fast as I could, faster than my run during habulan.
I pause to catch my breath when I got in front of our gate. I open it and see Puppy sleeping. I ignore her, I want to see Mama and Papa. I enter the house and see Mama in the sala reading the newspaper.
“Mama!”
She looks at me puzzled, like I’m from another planet (Jupiter?).
“Erik, what are you doing here? Why are you wearing your pantulog?”
“Mama, why did you leave me in another house?”
“What? You’re married, you live with Arthur…”
“Huh?! But I’m only 6 years old!”
I close my eyes for 5 seconds. When I open them, I'm back inside the strange, dark house.
